portablemiah:

American History textbooks more like

Chapter 1: Introduction to White People
Chapter 2: White Settlers and The Indian Savages
Chapter 3: Whitey Makes A Country
Chapter 4: The Blacks
Chapter 5: Wars, Wars, Wars
Chapter 6: No More Racism!: Martin Luther King Jr. Gives a Speech
Chapter 7: The Modern Whites

(via thelazykorean)

"There is no easy way to train an apprentice. My two tools are example and nagging."

Lemony Snicket, Who Could That Be At This Hour? (via fortheloveoflemony)

"He looked like the sort of person who would tell you that he did not have an umbrella to lend you when he actually had several and simply wanted to see you get soaked."

Lemony Snicket, When Did You See Her Last? (via fortheloveoflemony)

mollyisctl:

Lemony Snicket, comparing murder to eating butter cookies since 1999

"I will love you as a thief loves a gallery and as a crow loves a murder, as a cloud loves bats and as a range loves braes. I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence, and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong."

Lemony Snicket (via quoteallthethings)